Tuesday, May 12, 2009

When I get that feeling, I want Textual Healing.

Don’t let anyone fool you; the Great American Pastime isn’t baseball. It’s booze.

It’s no secret that some of the greatest pieces of literature were penned after the writer drank a generous amount of "firewater". Just take Bukowski, Poe, and Hemingway, and that's only naming a few. I mean, you can’t possibly tell me that you think Macbeth was written while Shakespeare was stone-cold sober, can you? Please.

However, we now live in a world where wit is often limited to 140 characters or less. Text messaging is an integral part of our lives and, while most of us have lost the urge to handwrite ten page letters, we still haven’t shaken the overwhelming desire to connect with those near and dear to us through the written word.

This is where drunk texting comes in.

You’re walking home from the bar, inebriated and alone, when suddenly you have an epiphany about why Donald Duck never wore pants. But who can you tell? Who, I ask you?? You pull out your cell phone and type out a text message to a friend you know will understand. Sure, you use too many exclamation points and spell a few things incorrectly. Never mind. All that matters is that your Very Important Thought was not lost on the desolate city streets at 4 in the morning, to be forgotten by the time you rouse from your drunken slumber the following afternoon.

When we first began e-mailing each other a few months back, we hit it off instantly. Bonding over a mutual love for happy hour, funny Jewish guys, and antiquated jargon, it wasn’t long before we exchanged numbers and started text messaging on a consistent basis. As a result of our shared appreciation for The Booze, many of our text messages were scribed while under the influence of a few glasses of wine or occasionally an entire pitcher of margaritas. (Kidding. Maybe.)

Throw a few other bloggers in the mix and suddenly every night we were makin' it rain like Lil Wayne at a strip club. We decided it was high time to share these precious little gems with the world. They got so lonely by themselves in the inbox. And there's no need to have a lonely inbox when you've got textual healing.

And so this blog was born.


BWP and Clover


  1. oh i can see this being a very amusing blog!!!

  2. Oh yeah, bring it on baby! Or should that be babies?

  3. Remember. Ask Jeeves came first and now it's gone. Be Google. Be more Google.

    Also I knew this was what you two were doing. I wrote it in my journal.

  4. thers matenes in my hands take it up w5 science!

  5. Textual healing! I love the title. This looks like it's going to be fun.

  6. This is going to be rad. :)

  7. Charmingly indeed.

    But this blog sounds like it contains TOO much awesomeness. Like The Internet can't handle all the Clovey/B-Dub lovin' all at once. The blog should come with a disclaimer that reads "I don't think you're ready for this jelly."

  8. I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.