Today in Texting with BWP & Clover

BWP: It's 3pm and I'm eating Thai food in bed. This text message is the most productive thing I've done all day.

Clover: Kanye Fur loves you! And so do I!

BWP: Have you been drinking?

Clover: No! Also, I didn't drink at all yesterday!

BWP: Your sobriety concerns me. I'm going to start drinking so that our combined sobriety doesn't throw off the universe.